


feel ok

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, Late night remorse, azula is interesting, letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24604786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: azula writes ty lee.
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 111





	feel ok

3 am. 

Azula hated this time of night. She didn’t know why she even let herself stay up this late anymore, she always knew how it ended. 

Memories. 

Another thing Azula hated. (Thinking about it now, she realizes she hates a lot of things). Unfortunately for her, this hour seemed to creep up and flood her mind with things that used to be.

Ty Lee.

That was someone she could never hate, no matter how many times she tried to convince herself she did. The one thing that made her feel all soft on the inside. The one thing that made her vulnerable. 

To her disdain, she remembered the first time she meet Ty Lee vividly. She remembered how she thought Ty Lee had the prettiest hair she’d ever seen, she remembered being jealous. 

She remembered for the first time being scared to approach someone. She knew she hid it well, though. She declared that they would be best friends within an hour of meeting.. and well, it was set in stone. 

Azula couldn’t help but grin a bit at the memory, one of her few fond ones. She also couldn’t help wondering if Ty Lee still remembered it like she did, if she held the memory as close to her heart as Azula did. 

Azula remembered when Ty Lee decided she was going to run off to the circus, too. She remembered Ty Lee tearily saying goodbye to her and Mai, and she remembered being so hurt that Ty Lee would ever leave her she called her a circus freak.. and some other things that slip her mind. 

Oh, but really, what she remembered from that night was that it was their first kiss. She remembered Ty Lee pulling her to the side and saying goodbye one last time to her with a soft, gentle kiss. She remembered how her lips tingled. She remembered how Ty Lee tasted sweet. 

She remembered how much she hated how Ty Lee made her feel. Weak, she made her feel weak. She made her feel.. something. 

She remembered how her skin would ignite in little tingles whenever Ty Lee would yell her name with a certain brightness nobody could intimidate. She missed that.

In all honestly, she missed the other girl. Her warmness, her smile, the way the light shone in her brown eyes making them look like big pools of honey that Azula so badly wanted to dive into. 

God, she missed the way when no one was looking, Ty Lee would slip her hand into Azula’s and intwine their fingers. She missed how Ty Lee’s elbow accidentally touching her could make her whole body flame up and turn her face into a new rosy hue. 

Azula closed her eyes, chewing on her cheek as she thought. She resented herself for still longing for her old companion. She figured that Ty Lee had closed the chapter on her long ago, so why couldn’t she follow suit? 

Everything about Azula had changed, really. She lived a quiet, peaceful life on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. She really had no affiliation to the Fire Kingdom anymore. Letter from her brother, and one or two from Mai, were all that kept her updated on the news. She wasn’t the same princess she once was. Well, maybe she hadn’t brightened up her personality, but she still knew she had changed. Really.

She wanted to Ty Lee to know that, though she was sure Ty Lee didn’t even know where she was at the moment. She wasn’t sure if that made her feel worse or better.

She hated that sometimes she wanted to walk up to the kingdom and pull Ty Lee away from it herself. She hated that she wanted to do that right now. 

Coming to her senses, she rose from her bed. Better idea, a letter.

Was it really better? Well, that wasn’t important. She had made up her mind. A letter. 

With a flick of her wrist, a candle next to her light up with a small blue flame.

She rummaged through her drawer next to her, a paper and pencil were easy enough to find. Now.. for the words. 

_Hi, Ty Lee,_

No, too friendly. 

_Hello, Ty Lee,_

Too formal. 

_Ty Lee,_

Azula hummed in approval with the.. two letter intro. She frowned. 

_Ty Lee,_

_It’s Azula. I’m sorry for not writing sooner. I know I should have._

Azula couldn’t help but cringe at what she was writing. God, she sounded so.. off. Why was this so awkward for her? She left out a small puff of air. Writing was never difficult for her in school, so what was so different now?

_To put it short, I miss you. I miss you so much, it feels like sometimes you’re all I can think about. I know this might not get a reply, but I have to know, do you think about me too?_

_We never talked things out, it kills me. I’m sorry. I never said that, did I? I wish i could go back and say it 100 times over. I would, I hope you know I would. I’m sure Zuko told you I changed, or at least I’m trying to. Do you believe him?_

Azula’s foot hummed back and forth as she wrote. She bit into her lip, furrowing her brows as she realized how open she was being. How.. vulnerable. 

_I hope you do, it’s true._

_Part of it was for you too, you know. I used to have some sort of fantasy that if maybe I was normal.. we’d work. Silly, right? I think it was._

_I should probably ask, how are you? I hope the kyoshis treat you well._

It hit Azula that Ty Lee had probably replaced her with one of them. The memories they had created may have been erased and created new with someone Azula wasn’t. It made her chest hurt. It got the free tears pooling at her eyes and clouding her vision to finally spill, creating small stains on the paper. 

_Is it stupid of me to write this? I’m sorry if i’m bothering you. Maybe this will help me stop being so... infatuated with you. With the idea of you, of us. I know you’ve moved on from me. It’s hard to accept I should do the same._

_It’s been two years since we’ve met face to face. I wonder how you’ve changed. Did you cut your hair? I hope not, I always thought it was so pretty long._

_Have I ever told you that? I think I have. It’s still true, you know. I’ll always think you’re the prettiest, Ty Lee._

_You know, always, you were my only weak spot, right? I wish I would have told you that. You were the only thing that made me feel, for awhile. I’m still trying to do that more often. I think I hated you for it._

The crying didn’t stop. Throughout writing, Azula’s body was racked with tears. Her usual neat handwriting became rough and messy, her newly shaky hands evident. Azula wondered if Ty Lee would notice. 

_Again, sorry if this was inappropriate to write. There’s more I could say, more I will if you reply. I don’t know if you will. I don’t know if you should._

_Anyways, I should stop now. I love you, my Ty Lee. Always will. Sorry._

_-_  
_Yours Forever,  
Azula._

And that was that. Azula didn’t even reread it. She didn’t need to. She knew that’s what she wanted it send. Unrevised, real, raw. 

Deep down, she craved for a reply. Even if it was one shooting her down. She needed something, validation, contact, closure. 

Well, actually, now she needed sleep. She was now very aware with the sudden appearance of the rising sun. Folding the letter up, she placed it on her small dresser and finally, allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> very very messy im sorry. anyways, i love them and i’ll probably write something better for them soon.


End file.
